When I was trying to get my littles to bed tonight, they were CRYING hysterically and YELLING at the top of their lungs at me, on the floor, kicking their legs, full blown tantrums. In that moment, I wanted so badly to yell right back at them because I was so sick of them. (which btw, I normally do yell back). I was so done with them at this point, I just wanted them in their beds and out of my face. I had what felt like a rough day. All afternoon, it felt like my head was literally going to explode because of all the pressing issues I had to solve with the house that we are building. So many things going on in my life right now, and on top of it all, I am in HOUSE BUILDING HELL. So my kids are yelling at me and I’m like, “Can you be a freaking human and think this through logically?! One leg in a pant hole at a time, walk yourself into your room, and snuggle up to your blankies in bed. Deuces.” UGH. The last thing I wanted to deal with at that moment was to calm these lunatics down because they obviously couldn’t do that on their own. But, as I watched them lose control of every ounce of civility these toddlers presumably had, I stared deep into Marley’s eyes and felt the need to do exactly the OPPOSITE of what I really wanted to do. I knew that she was counting on me in that moment to show her how to respond in crises. I knew that if I kept one upping her yelling, it would only teach her that that’s how you handle the hard stuff in life. So I dug deep into my already depleted energy well, grabbed the last bit of it, and calmly said, “Please get your jammies on.” (It honestly took MORE energy to NOT yell at them.) AND THEN A MIRACLE. They both immediately stopped yelling and kicking. They did what I asked! I was so shocked and happy that I let them stay up and read with me. Turns out, Marley can suddenly read. I don’t know how. I never taught her. She just started Kindergarten. In the first month of Kindergarten, all they do is color, sing songs about Allie the Alligator, and learn how to cut paper. Trust me, that teacher ain’t teaching her how to read books! But she read a bunch of books to me tonight… So this is my roundabout way of telling you that Marley is on the Autism spectrum. She was diagnosed in June, but I’ve had a hard time divulging this information. Partly because I don’t want her labeled, and partly because sometimes I question the diagnosis. It’s turned out to be an emotional process of figuring out how to best help her. It’s great that there are a lot of resources out there to help her, but it’s also overwhelming. She’s had so many assessments with therapists and doctors. Tomorrow, she starts in-home ABA therapy. This week, she started attending a school specifically focused on kids on the autism spectrum. I’m excited for her but I also question if it was the right move to take her out of our neighborhood school where her sister attends. So much to think about and worry about. But she is my sweet Marley. The easiest and smiliest baby there ever was. Who just so happens to be a little different than my other children.
